One of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn about living with ADHD — and if I'm being 100% honest, I’m still learning — is that I’ve had to completely redefine what “success” looks like.

Before I knew I had ADHD, I was chasing this picture-perfect version of success—you know, the one with structured mornings, time-blocked calendars, inbox zero, and flawlessly executed business plans. For years, I kept trying to fit that mold. I thought if I just tried hard enough, I could make it work.

Spoiler alert: It didn’t work.

It's Not Me, It's You

If you happen to have a brain that’s wired a little differently — a little more neurospicy — you're labeled lazy, scattered, and "not living up to your potential." You start internalizing that, even though the system was never built for you in the first place.

When Success Is Measured by the Wrong Standards

Here’s a quick gut check. Do any of these sound familiar?

• Waking up at the same time every day, following a morning routine, and diving into work in a predictable order

• Scheduling every task in a calendar and sticking to time blocks

• Creating consistent, steady output every single week

• Keeping perfect books, logging mileage, maintaining organized digital files, and tracking every expense

• Setting big-picture goals and reverse-engineering your steps

• Working in a quiet, clutter-free environment for maximum focus

• Being a #bossbabe who self-manages and self-motivates without needing accountability

• Always following up, sending the invoice, responding to the DM, remembering names, and networking like a pro

If you’ve ever struggled to consistently hit even one of those, you’re not alone. You’re not lazy. You’re not undisciplined. You’re just navigating the world with an ADHD brain — and that comes with a totally different set of rules.

Riding the Struggle Bus

Take mornings, for example. The “ideal” morning routine is practically gospel in the business world: get up early, follow a structured routine, and do your most important work first.

But if you have ADHD, mornings often feel less like a productivity hack and more like you’ve boarded the struggle bus with no idea how you got there, where it’s headed, or why there’s glitter in your backpack.

Sure, it sounds simple on paper — wake up at the same time, move through your routine step by step, and start the day focused and energized. But here’s how that usually looks for me:

• I’m often up until 2 or 3 AM. Not because I’m out partying or binge-watching Netflix (though hey, sometimes that happens), but because my brain just won’t shut off. Unlike a neurotypical brain that might start winding down at bedtime, mine is wide awake, thinking about completely unhelpful things — like why does a centipede need that many legs? Or who decided we should spell “colonel” like that? It’s like my brain hosts a late-night talk show no one asked for — and I’m the only audience member.

• Some mornings, I wake up at 7:30. Other days, it’s closer to 10, and I feel like I’ve time-traveled and forgotten what year it is.

• Even when I want to stick to a routine, I forget the steps. I literally have a Post-it on my mirror that walks me through my bedtime routine like I’m prepping for a preschool performance — complete with imaginary stage directions and a fictional motivational speaker in my head yelling, “You’ve got this! Just one more step until victory!”

• And let’s not even get started on task initiation. If the first thing on my list is boring, you better believe I’ll find something, anything else to do instead. Our brains crave dopamine. And if a task doesn’t deliver, it gets shoved to the bottom of the list — until we’re either in a panic or feeling deeply ashamed for not doing it.

This is why that “perfect morning routine” might sound great in theory but feels completely unattainable in practice. It’s not a lack of effort — it’s ADHD.

Procrastination and ADHD Are NOT The Same

People like to say, “Just do it,” as if willpower is all it takes. But ADHD doesn’t work that way.

We’re not procrastinating because we’re lazy. We’re stuck because our executive functioning systems aren’t cooperating. We don’t choose to avoid things. Sometimes, our brains just can’t find the ignition switch.

And that’s where the spiral starts: You don’t meet the expectations. You beat yourself up. You tell yourself you just have to try harder. You start clinging to those shiny, feel-good motivational quotes — “Discipline over motivation,” “If it matters, you’ll make time,” “No excuses.”

But instead of helping, they just make it worse. Because those mantras weren’t written for ADHD brains — they were written for people whose executive functioning isn’t actively working against them. You make another perfect list, full of color-coded ambition and good intentions, and then you don’t follow through. Again. And again. And again.

I’ve lived in that loop more times than I can count — and each time, it chipped away at my confidence a little more.

The Burnout Wake-Up Call

For me, it took the pandemic to really understand how deep that burnout ran. My business forcibly shut down, albeit temporarily, and for the first time in over a decade, I had time — a lot of time — to think. I took long walks with my dog, listened to every podcast I could find about ADHD and entrepreneurship, and started to really unpack the emotional damage that comes from years of trying to meet expectations that were never designed for me.

That recovery didn’t happen overnight. I’m still working on it. But it led me to ask a better question:

What Does Success Look Like for Me?

What I’ve landed on is something I call just one thing.

It’s simple but powerful:

What’s the one most important thing I need to get done today to feel successful?

That’s it. Not a whole list. Not ten productivity hacks. Just one thing.

If I have the energy and focus to do more, that's awesome. But if I only get that one thing done, I consider the day a win.

And listen, I know what you’re thinking:
"But what if I REALLY don’t want to do that one thing?"

Yeah. I get it. Some tasks are so mind-numbingly boring that I’d rather carve out my kidney with a spoon. But the reality is that just because we have ADHD doesn’t mean we don’t have responsibilities.

That’s why setting up systems is key.

Build Systems That Do the Heavy Lifting

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that my brain will fight me on boring, repetitive tasks every single time.

That’s why automation tools (like what we build with Leadli) make such a difference. The more you can systematize and offload the tedious stuff, the more mental energy you have for the things that actually move your business forward.

More importantly, the more “tools” we can use in one system, the better. When everything lives in one place, we don’t have to memorize a dozen passwords, bounce between five different apps, or spiral into an overwhelm meltdown every time one little thing breaks. Fewer platforms = fewer opportunities to throw your laptop out the window in frustration.

Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about checking off 100 to-do list items.

Sometimes, success looks like this:

✅ Sending that one email
✅ Following up with that one client
✅ Finishing your proposal
✅ Folding and putting away the laundry
✅ Taking the donation bags all the way to the donation drop-off — not just driving around with them in your trunk for three months.
✅ Giving yourself grace if today is a low-energy day

You’re Not Broken — You Just Need a New Blueprint

If you take nothing else from this post, hear this:

You are not broken. You are not lazy. You are not a failure.

You’re just trying to succeed using a blueprint that was never designed for your brain. So, it’s time to make a new one — one that honors your energy, your creativity, your limits, and your strengths.